Beating the uncreative blues

Dear Diane,

We have a new meeting place for tea and talk! A branch of Costa Coffee has been built in the carpark of my gym. The good news is that it is open late so it is a perfect place to write between work and home. The bad news is that the cake is good and that means more time is necessary in said gym!

There is a certain irony that your last post was tardy because you were not feeling a creative urge and mine is tardy because I have been busy, busy, busy creating. There is an even greater irony that much of the creating has gone into pulling together a brand new blog called Plan • Create• Succeed which includes material about organisation amongst the posts about art, food, journalling, design and personal development.


Of course with Blogger I could have just written a post and there the new blog would be. But I decided that was no fun and sought out the challenge of learning how to use a self-hosted WordPress blog with a sleek premium theme. It was really fun using my brain for research and learning and writing lots of posts ahead of time and I am thrilled with the initial response from new readers.However, in my determination to meet my own self imposed deadline I let things with no deadline slip. Which is why, after our discussion off blog, about getting this blog more regular, I now have it scheduled in my blog organiser for fortnightly posts from me. A deadline means a commitment which means  I need a damn good reason not to do it!

Which sort of brings me on to your main question from last time about motivating yourself and whether I have ever hit a period when I am devoid of all impulse to create. I cannot actually think of a sustained time, since I discovered I actually was creative ( only a few years ago!), in which I have been unable to motivate myself. the have been days when I have chosen to do other things and in fact a period of about ten days running up to Festival of Quilts when I had all my projects finished and chose to rest from the studio so I would be really hungry to do new things when I got back to it with all my new inspiration and shopping from Festival. But that was a deliberate rest not a complete funk like you seem to have been struggling with.

I think there are two reasons for that. One lies in what some people would regard as my over the top target setting and organisation. I participate in the SAQA Visioning Project and my main target there for this year is about studio time. After much excruciating maths, I declared my goal was to be a thirty/seventy artist meaning that when you added up the time I spent over a year in the studio with that I spent at work, the total would divide thirty percent to creativity and seventy percent to work. There was much consideration of how to count work time...do commutes and lunch hours count?...but in the end I got to a monthly total of 53 hours a month target subdivided for art and blogging.

Then I made a list of what projects I fancied doing in the first portion of the visioning year, how long each might reasonably take and made my choices based on what I could fit in to the time available. Those form my secondary goals for the project.

This means that the decision about what and for how long I am going to create is pre-made. So my decision each day is not, "Do I feel like creating?" but rather, "Do I want to miss my target?" or " No I have spent so much time On this project already do I really want to slack off now and miss the deadline for submission." or actually, the question is usually more, "Am I in the studio before or after dinner tonight or am I clocking hours with handwork in front of the TV today?"

I think I have a healthy regard to these targets. If I miss a submission date, I miss a submission date and the world does not stop. There is nothing to beat myself up over and maybe there will be times when other things, say, health or family, take priority. Fine. But the buzz of meeting my own targets and crossing them off on the drywipe board in my studio is heady and enough to keep me going.

Basically I have created a habit of creativity rather than constantly making a choice whether to create or not. Please don't think I am bragging about this; I remain rather surprised that it has happened!

The second reason is that I find creativity soothing and comforting. As you know I lost my Granny a few days ago.  ( do you remember taking this photo? Its the last one of us together.)

It was expected but still, bereavement I found made me feel heavy and stolid and washed out. Logistics of being away for the funeral means I missed a couple of days of sewing (although I did take the opportunity to solve a thread emergency by popping to the nearest quilt shop to where she lived and put the finishing touches to Plan • Create • Succeed !) But the day she actually died and the weekend after the funeral I spent hours at my machine and hand quilting. The flow of creativity ( and some good films and back episodes of Grey's Anatomy on Love Film Instant while I worked) soothed and sustained me and took my mind away from grief and loss to a more positive state of bringing art in to being.

You mentioned that part of your problem was a dissatisfaction with your space and I totally agree that having a suitable dedicated space is a big enabling factor. A studio is not a requirement for good creativity; as the photos in our book show I did much of my early work on a dining table. But I think that having a dedicated space however big small, basic or luxurious sends a big psychological message that creativity is a basic life function like cooking, washing, sleeping and doing laundry. In a studio what else are you going to do but create? Having that area is a sort of validating permission.

Or to put it another way, as my husband said when I checked he did not mind me spending so much time in my studio, "We spent thirty grand on it, you'd better be sending lots of time in there!" (Of course there is no need to build a new house storey as I did, its just identifying a space and dedicating it to creativity that works. I know part of your troubles that are consuming you involve your environment and what it will be like in the future and I encourage you to build into your plans a dedicated studio separate from your office.

Interestingly, I have noticed this pattern with my burgeoning Filofax collection too. I have a taste for these beautiful leather binders which come at a certain price, although the hunt for the bargain is fun. I realised this weekend that the areas of my life that have a really nice binder that I love to use and have pushed the boat out a bit to buy get more attention from me. I think it is that by the act of committing money and the beautiful object to that purpose, I validate the purpose as worthy and important. Plus, the pleasure of using the binders ( Oh, the lovely soft leather, the flippiness of the pages, the joy of customisation. Ahem) makes me give the material inside the attention it needs.

Yes, I could use a cheap notebook or a mock leather binder but the joy of using something beautiful is motivating. So, writing the hours I clocked towards my quilting target in an Ochre Malden A5 model? Double whammy of bliss and satisfaction! Too often we downgrade creativity to leftover status when for reasons of our well being it should be up there with gym membership. Do you find your filofaxes have the same result? Did buying that great beast of a Bernina of yours have the same effect?

You also asked what would I do if I found myself lacking in motivation. I would take a pile of art related books or magazine or the like to a cafe and start to browse. Without fail I find that shortly I start to get inspired and excited and start to hunt out paper and pen to write ideas down. It does seem to work best in a cafe though. Maybe its just that I have trained myself to get the same signal I get from going to a studio,but I have never fathomed why cafes are such special places for creativity. I know you share that love of cafe life. Do you know what it is about them?

You also asked me about the effect on working in a series, but you know, this is a long post so I think I will keep you in suspense and write about that next time. (Such a tease but I have much to say!)

Oh, but before I go, I wanted to ask you about your watercolour sketchbooks... They do not obviously seem design related. Do you see them as an end product in themselves, or is it the process that is important and if so why? I like the idea of doing them but them I see them as a huge distraction from the task in hand of art quilting. I do not have time for distractions! Am I missing something? Do they feed into your textile work or stand alone?

In January the builder starts to convert our garage into a wet studio and laundry area. Before then I have to clear the large amount of junk in there. I thought about taking one item at a time and drawing it and journalling briefly about the item as a sort of quirky record of creating the studio. But I don't know.. That's more hours.. Is it worth it?

Helen.

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Where did that creative spark go?

Dear Helen,

I could ignore the fact that our conversation seems to have lapsed, but the struggle to return to creative expression is what I'm going to talk about today, and the silence here is a reflection of that same struggle. But before I go forward talking my own creative life (or lack thereof) I wanted to respond to what you talked about last: the working in a series class you did and how it has affected you.

Now, I happen to know that you are a highly motivated person, and when you are intent on doing something, you do it full tilt. So I have come to know that even without classes to schedule a pace for you or give you assignments, you will charge ahead and make things. It is one of the many things I admire about you, how you set yourself a task and head toward it with great purpose.

But I know, from our non TT4T conversations and from seeing your work, that the series courses you did have helped you grow. I see you doing things differently in your work, even approaching your work differently. It seems to me that you have an attitude that each piece is a learning opportunity and a step in your journey. Is that true? I've told you, as well, that I really like the pieces you did in your course, and looking over the blog I like them even more. I hope you'll write here soon about where they have led you since you posted.

So. Here is the topic I bring up for discussion today: How to find creative energy when you're just not feeling any. You know that matters in my personal life have been absorbing and draining me over the past few months. Ordinarily, doing something creative would have been my mental refuge. In this phase, though, I've not had the energy to even putter. I've done a lot of beating myself up over being lazy and undisciplined and self-indulgent, and I can tell you now that THAT sort of self-talk isn't helpful in the creative motivation department. And of course, if someone asked me about this issue, I'd say what I've heard and read all over: you have to just get in and DO something. Put yourself in your studio and make yourself do something, however dull or uninspired it feels. But somehow that simply didn't take me anywhere.

I must say that I've found that the issues that have affected my personal life have translated into a twitchy, dissatisfied feeling in my creative world. I can't seem to get comfortable in my tiny office/studio. I chafe at the lack of space and have gotten very cranky about not being able to spread out. I've grumbled at not being able to find the supplies I need and know I have, somewhere. I don't like anything I make. It's as if the things I'm struggling with in real life are carrying over to my creative self. Something's not fitting right, and trying to make it work just makes me irritable and frustrated.

So I've turned to a lethargic, listless browsing of blogs and Pinterest and websites in an effort to just soak up things that feel good. Pinterest is an amazing wealth of visual inspiration, and I've let myself get lost in collecting images that please and inspire me. I figure that I'm in a resting, soaking phase. Building an internal foundation, as it were. Hah. Sounds good, huh? But there is something hopeful about looking at the Pinterest images and other creative sources. I'm starting to get a glimmer of a feeling of "I can see using that pattern in something like ..." and I've even pulled out my sketchbook a time or two to make sketches. It's a little step forward, and that's good.

Our recent Twelve by Twelve "maverick" deadline also cornered me into doing something. Deadlines are good that way. I'd mentioned to you that I was playing with a maverick idea for weeks, trying different things, adding bits ... it was feeling horrid and unpleasant and, at the end, it was a big, horrid mess. (I wrote about it here and you can confirm that I am right.) Coming up to the deadline with nothing presentable forced me to retreat to the basics: very simple drawing and then emphasizing it with stitching.

Meanwhile, a group of friends (most of whom I met in an online sketching and painting class) and I decided to give ourself a weekly drawing task, simply to get us drawing. The first "weeklie" topic was Bird, and out of fear of painting a real bird, I resorted to drawing a china figurine that sits in my office.

And oh my, did that feel good! Drawing and painting is very meditative. Especially the drawing part -- which is not so much about making creative decisions but just LOOKING and SEEING and translating that to moving the pencil on the page. It is hand-eye coordination, not deciding what something SHOULD look like, it's trying to see what it actually is.

I'm glad to report that a little logjam of sorts has been broken, and I'm finding myself drawn (ha, pun intended) to my sketchbook to give myself the mental peace of just looking at something and drawing it. I even ventured a try at a real bird:

I'm feeling a sense of relief and pleasure and finding a corner of creativity that's alive in me right now. Phew.

It's not grand. But it feels good.

This afternoon I will head out to Bishop's Ranch for an abbreviated time at the fall retreat. I can only stay for two days before I head off for other commitments (more on that soon) but I know it will feel so good to be here. And I'm hoping that the energy of so many creative women will fan my tiny, re-awakened creative spark. I wish you could be there!

So, tell me -- have you had a period where you just felt devoid of all creative impulses? If so, what did you do? If that hit you, what would you do?

love, Diane

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Learning to Work in a Series

Note: This turned into a long post but I hope you will find time to read anyway!

Dear Diane,

How can it be that it was June last time we posted to this blog? Where did the time go?!

Well, actually some of mine went on doing two courses about Working in a Series, which I thought it was time to tell you all about. I really wanted to do the course run by Lisa Call on her own website but it was very expensive so when the opportunity to do a course run by Elizabeth Barton on Quilt University for around 1/10 of the price I thought maybe that was the way to go. So I signed up to that. The very act of doing that seemed to confirm to me how much I really also wanted to do the other one. So I signed up to Lisa Call’s class as well the same day.

For anyone on a budget, I would say that I had no complaints about the Quilt University course. It was a four week course and the method of teaching is that a lesson is made available for you to print off each class week and interaction with the students and teacher is by way of a sort of chat site. That means you can read all interactions with other students and learn from those too although a downside is that the list of messages can get long and clunky.

I decided for this course to make some quilts based on the Maasi tribe. I am not going to go into too much detail here about the exact contents of the course as I do not want tob reach anyone’s copyright, but I can safely tell you how it affected me I think. First, I tried out a new way of doing a ‘sketchbook’. I love notebooks to write in but drawing in them? Doesn’t do it for me. I can’t keep track of things, can’t move them around to collate ideas and one bad page ruins the book. So, I turned to ( you know what is coming!), yup, an A5 Filofax. I am still not a big user, tending to go straight from head to fabric but this is a great solution for me and I did take at least one sketch into fabric:

I now have two filofaxes ( both Cubans for readers who care) in use for this purpose with my subjects tabbed but its very flexible. I like that I can do something at lunch at work on a scrap and take it home to file later.
Secondly I began to work small, because of time constraints and to try out some new surface design techniques, making fabric with scraped screen inks and stamps. I was pleased with my fences made from stitch, paint and abaca tissue. The first quilt in this post is my SAQA Auction donation for this year. I do think it is a step forward for me. I am delighted to see it was chosen for the auction publicty material. These followed on and were submitted for a show in Australia but were rejected. which is frustrating as they are miles better in my view than the one that was accepted for the same exhibition the last time it ran! Ah well.

But, I soon started to experience the reality I had always feared with series work. How many times can you rearrange Maasai figures andstill see the point in doing so? Yes, if I was working only to sell, I would be creating recognisable works and that is a benefit for some people. But this subject soon became limited for me. I think there were two reasons for that:

Firstly the emphasis was on the visual not the story behind it and whilst there is nothing wrong with that it was not satisfying me deep down. Secondly, I was doing rather realistic pictures and I am now ( after some weeks for reflection) starting to realise that if I am not doing completely abstract work I at least prefer to have some symbolism in the work. Something that can be interpreted and worked out. Or at least something that holds attention and invited reading ( either literally of words, or figuratively interms of searching for meaning). Two spear toting men by a fence. Too easy!

So, that course was a good start but I was still rather restless being confined to a series. Of course, working in multiple series at a time is always a possibility but I could see that with limited time there was a real risk I would do twelve series of one quilt each per year! Not quite the point. So that Quilt University course was a good start but I was looking for more.

Then came the Lisa Call course. This was a much more detailed and professionally put together course and well worth the money. Lisa used her computer skills to set up a website for the course and the formatting (both of the site and the course) was really impressive. We studied with Lisa over eight weeks. On six there was a long ( at least 75 mins) live lecture withher during which you could phone in to listen and interact with her. Or, it was recorded and, as I was in an inconvenient time zone, I downloaded and listened like a podcast in my own time, taking notes as I went. Court users in Blackburn may have wondered why I was spending some time alone in my car at lunch time but it was a perfect time to get some concentrated listening time! In addition there were several substantial emails eachweek.

There was interaction with Lisa via the comments on the siteblog but also we got two half hour individual mentoring phone calls each. It was typical of Lisa’s organisation that these were not just nice chit chats. We got a call preparation sheet with some set questions on to prepare and this meant Lisa was able to use every minute (well after a few pleasantries!) to answer our questions and to offer focused advice and mentoring. Apparently some people used those calls to ask technical questions about the course material. I found all that was so clear I really didn’t want clarification and instead I opted to use it as a mentoring call. Lisa appears to be someone I have much in common with but who is further down the path than me and it was most useful to be able to pry into her experiences and have full and open answers.

In fact one thing we talked about was the possibility of using a professional creativity coach and about her experience of that being useful for a while and then going wrong and how important it was to get a coach that had the right skills and practice ethos. I had briefly flirted with that idea for a while having been in touch with Eric Maisel who is maybe better known as a coach for writers although he is certainly not limited to that. I came to the conclusion that there were better places I could put my money particularly as I don’t feel stuck or blocked. Besides Eric Maisel seems to have put all he knows into his many books so there is plenty for me to read there if I need to.

That said, if Lisa ever went into professional mentoring services I’d jump at the chance to work with her. One way in which she structured the course was to take a topic – say ‘balance’ and talk about how wec ould apply that to our art, to working in a series in particular, but also to the life of being an artist and our studio practice. So it was part practical, part psychology really, which I loved. And it wasn’t waffly stuff. It was backed up with articles on psychological research and from her own experience, both successes and mistakes. Good stuff and something to go back to over and over. Each week she also featured an artist whose work illustrated the lecture points so there is plenty of material to explore further there too.


We had five exercises to do during the course ( catch up weeks were built in) and they involved both freewriting journal exercises (and you know how happy I am to curl up with a notebook and do that!) and then the making of a piece of art. The clever thing about this course is that the first task is for you to set the parameters of your own work so that you can decide what is feasible in the time you have. So you pick size, subject, media, how far down the production process you will go. Basically you set yourself up to succeed in completion. Or you do if you are not overambitious like I tend to be!


I decided to put the Maasi to one side and try somethingnew. Just before this course started I had been invited to submit a quilt for the Fibre Artists for Hope Group on the theme of Broad Changes, an exhibition about women who made a difference in the field of social justice. Immediately I wanted to do a quilt about Camila Batmangheldidge, which is ironic as I still cannot spell her name without a Google assist! She is a charity worker in the UK and whilst she is Iranian I can see that her dress makes her not a million miles away from the African Ladies I have made a few times. I do love fabric headwear of all kinds! So I decided myc lass exercises would be trial portraits of Camila. At the same time, as you know, the Twelve by Twelve group had embarked on the 20/12 project and I wanted my works for that to hang together as a series. This sort of multi-tasking or synchronising of effort pleases me!

The exercises were, just as a way to structure the course,based on various formal design principles, but we were given several choices of task, including setting ourselves a task, so it enabled everyone to adapt the course to their own interests and needs. There was no need to feel you were faffing about with pointless irrelevant games or working at a level below or above you. Lisa did ask if she could share some of our work on her blog. I did not consent to that, for reasons I am about to explain, but, after a few weeks more reflection and with the ability to place it in context I am ready to reveal all.

Or, actually not all because I did not do all the exercises. But that’s Ok with me, and I do not see it as a failure, because the course moved me from where I was, to where I wanted to be without me doing the last one. Plus, I had confirmed that I really work better independently where I can take what I need and apply it to my own work with thought and in my own way.That is not to say that the tasks are not useful but rather that I am finding it more beneficial to apply them in a normal studio practice and to my own goals rather than to produce something for the sake of a class deadline.

That said, I did do three portraits of Camila B. Now, I am only sharing on the basis that you are kind to me (and I think I require another pot of Rooibos tea and a slice of Millionaires Shortbread to fortify me before I do so). The basic idea ( again I do not want to give too much of the course away) was that you start with a reference work and set parameters for your work. So I started with this twelve inch test piece but I decided my class work would be 16 x 24 and would all involve a painted portrait. This was particularly stupid as I had never painted before and in fact always said I quilted because I couldn’t paint. But you know, you’ve got to challenge yourself…!

Now, no laughing…. For my first assignment I chose the task of working in a monochrome scheme.

The second assignment was to do with space and dimensionality and this did not work or come anywhere near it so I am not showing that

And the third was this half finished piece wth no background ever done.

The outcome of these assignments was that I grew immensely in confidence that I was getting better as I went along but still knew that I was nowhere near where I wanted to be. Two, almost throwaway comments, I pickedup on the course ( and which I wrote on my dry wipe board) were ‘Its OK to bewhere you are’ and ‘Its Ok to be a student’. They sound simple, and indeed they are, but to an over achieving perfectionist they were very comforting and important points. So, at that point I found an art teacher who is now coming to my house to teach me to draw and paint so I can do what I know I can do if I learn how to! I set Camila B. aside and decided to change horses and work with maps.


The maps thing came out of the 20/12 project to which I was applying the lesson from Lisa to define your parameters and change one thing at a time. So my 20/12 parameters were, obviously, the size, and then an African theme with a focus on wholecloth surface design, and a colour scheme that meant my pieces all hung well together. The first one on the metamorphosis theme was sort of part of the Maasi series. Or not, but vaguely linked to it.

The second was Vilakazi Street. In the making of this I stumbled on a great site about the Soweto Riots in 1976 which maps the various routes taken by student groups and the Police during the conflicts and tells the stories of the people involved.

That got me excited and I thought I had a series right there. Maps of the routes with the stories on the quilts. That met so many things I wanted in a series… something that could change endlessly without boring me, something that enabled me to tell a story and something which linked to my passions rather than being picked because I thought it would make a goods eries. So, I took another route, the Police route made some fabric by my current favoured method of scraping and stamping with screen inks, and…disaster. It did not work.

But, that was another thing I internalised from the course. Artists make bad work. Move on. And move on without beating yourself up. It’sthat last bit that was new to me! So, I shoved that in the cupboard and had a think. Camila had to be made. The deadline has now been extended but at the time I had a comfortable but not overly commodious time in which to do it. My art teacher is good but on one lesson a month I am not going to be painting faces on quilts well enough to want to submit them any time soon. Time for a rethink.

So I reverted to fabric portraits. I followed Maria Elkins instructions on her Quilting Arts Download. Well, I followed them in so far as I am capable for following any instructions without deciding to go my own way!That is I to say I put a photo into photoshop. I then adapted the instructions and used the xxxxxxxxx filterprinted that out in colour in reverse and the right way around and then extended the print out to finish the parts of her missing in the photo. I outlined in black. I traced over each piece I needed to make on typing paper then reversed it to go on fusible by, um well, I don’t recommend this but by holding it up and sort of more or less putting some marks on the back of the paper as it flops about. It is not precise but it works for me and I then can trim the fabric and play about with it. I should use a lightbox or even work in day light at the window. But hey, it’s my work and slapdash corrected is more me than perfect from the start. It’s just more fun!

I have fused the portrait to a scraped and stamped background and then I used the same method as on Vilakazi Street to do a map of the areas of London whereshe works and to write in her story and that of her charity. And this finally is where I wanted to be in terms of working in a series. Because the deadline on Camila B was extended I put the top unstitched to one side and for a while to work on another one for my colleagues wall at work. This was the result.

I think this is better than Camila B. I let go of the central motif that carried over from Vilakazi street and learned that is is better to ensure the map chosen is featureful as it is withot a gimmick. And so this could go on. I can change the people and the place and the stories, even the colours I use and the methods to delineate the road and buildings and the method of getting writing onto the quilt so I don’t feel at all restrained but the work will be a cohesive collection whilst still being fresh. I hope! The last 20/12quilt on Mythology was a spin off from this maps idea also, with its city blocks background.

i am currenltly having a break from the studio for a couple of weeks but I know one of my first projects when I get back will be another map quily. There is no doubt in my mind that it took Lisa Call’s course to get me to this point and I will always be very grateful to her. There are other lessons I learned and indeed, at least one other series involving township shacks under way too.

So, that was a lot about me. But I am curious. Does working in a series appeal to you?

Helen.

Dealing with UFO's

Dear Diane,

Thank you for an easy question to answer. You should throw out today any UFO that is not definately 100% still a work in progress and that will definately get finished. Here are several reasons why:

1. Because I say so. You know I am trustworthy and I like people to do what I say, so you would be making me happy. Really, that should be enough, but it makes for a bad blog post so here are some more reasons..

2. Those never-to-be-finished UFOs are dead. Dead and finished. They had a good life, lived with purpose but now they need a decent burial. Or cremation if you feel like a yard bonfire. ( Please, no- one comment about Health and Saftey.) One lesson ( of many) I learned doing Lisa Call's working in a series course is that all artists make some bad work but that is a necessary learning step. Once you have learned the lesson that UFO taught you it is in fact complete. Or maybe it was just about needing time to sew and play on the days you made them. Anyway they have served their purpose. Remember when you were learning to write? You did not save every attempt you made to write your name did you? No. These pieces were time limited playthings or experiments. It is not wasteful to dispose of them because they are all used up. Get rid.

3. They are taking up precious physical space. And space costs. Either you pay rent or you have invested money to own. Either way you paid for the space those UFO's are taking up. Even if its a small space,it has a cost. When you were calculating the costs of buying your house if a realtor had said, " Oh and there is an option to pay a little extra every single month and in return we will provide storeage for something you don't want and don't need, would you have signed up? No. Chuck them out and use the space for something better.

4. They are taking up psychic space. How long have you spent thinking about them and writing blog posts about them? How many more creative thoughts would there be space for in your brain if you got rid? How could you better have used that time?

5. Do it as a favour to others. At some point ( many,many, many years in the future, God willing) you are going to leave that house for care home or cemetery plot. And then someone younger like me is going to have to go through all your belongings. Really, you want us to see what you have been hoarding? Get shut of them now and preserve your dignity.

6. Because I say so. And I know of what I speak. When we built the new studio I threw out several UFOs. It was highly liberating. New studio, new art direction. The rule was that nothing that did not sustain my current work or did not excite me with future possibilties was allowed into the studio. Boxes and boxes of fabric went. remember the Japanese commerical fabric phase? I was there for that... All gone. No regrets. They were like outgrown clothes and they were holding me back. I know there are other changes afoot in life for you at the moment, and this is a fitting time for a de-clutter whilst other things are being dealt with. It will be both practical and symbolic.

So, look again,once, at what you have. Can you cut some nice fabric out of them for re-use? Can you salavage a part of what you did. Can you really, honestly say that you will use those pieces in the kind of work you are currently doing in say the next six to twelve months? Are you enthused and excited about doing so? If so, part salvage. If not? To the bin they go.

And in the spirit of enableing I have given you an example. The piece at the top of the post was a piece done in my emerging Maps series that I did as a class exercise a few weeks ago. It looks worse that it is because the focal point was still to be added,but still... No good. Lines too wide, not defined enough in colour and the quilting (done when I was feverish with a chest infection) is abysmal. So....

 

Does that help?

Helen.

Unfinished Business

Oh dear, we are at risk of our tea getting cold and, even worse, our cake getting stale!  I can't believe that the last post here was in April!  Of course, we know that we've each been busy with all sorts of things, some more creative than others!  But I think it's time to get our talks back on track, don't you?

Let's have a seat, gaze at the ocean, and catch up.

Here is what is on my mind today.  I have been thinking about the various unfinished projects stacked in my closet, taking up physical space there and some mental space in my head.  Some of the UFOs are things that still please and interest me when I pull them out -- but I have them in "waiting" mode until I can get back to them with the energy and in the mood to move them forward.  Some are complex, pieced quilts -- contemporary takes on traditional quilts, really.  For example, one is a complicated "Cinco De Mayo" quilt (Karen Stone's paper pieced, complex version of the New York Beauty block) for which I finished the center but want to add a pieced border that will complement those detailed blocks.  Another is a red, white and blue quilt (the only one I've ever done) that involves really beautiful, detailed star blocks but needs a good setting.  I had a great idea at some point, sketched some complicated sketches, and now they make no sense to me whatsoever so I need to figure it out all over again.  I'm fine about those taking space in the closet, and I know I'll get them done at some point, and I'll be happy to have them.

Others, though, are just sitting there.  The ones that trouble me are art quilts that I started with a high degree of enthusiasm, some core idea, and then I got to a point where they just died.  With each of them, I've kept them on my design wall for various periods to contemplate where to go next.  I have pulled them out, had them up for a bit and, still uninspired, put them away again.  But with each of them, I think I'm stalled on them because I just don't like them, and I don't want to spend any more time on them.

But that feels ... uncreative.  Wasteful.  Some voice in my head is telling me that if I were a GOOD artist, I'd be able to figure out how to fix them and get them to a satisfactory (if not terrific) place.  And I can look at each one and see what it was that excited me in the first place.  In one, it was a cool piece of hand-painted fabric.  In another, it was interpreting a photo that I loved to create a scene.
Are they salvagable?  Probably.  But somehow, I just never get around to tackling each one.

And I think, I have only so much creative time and energy.  Let these old things go and move forward.  I generally do finish things -- maybe not fast, but I do.  But maybe it's better to recognize what it is about each of the pieces I LIKED and why, consider them steps on my learning path, and let them go and move forward.

Just chucking them out feels so -- final... a bit like I'm abandoning a child I once loved and had hopes for.  And then I think if I just tossed them, I'd feel relieved.

And of course, writing all this out makes me think that I can make this a way bigger problem than it needs to be.  Look at them, try to learn from them, let them go, and move on.

But here's what I'm wondering -- for you and any reader who chimes in:  Do you throw work (finished or unfinished) away?  When do you decide that something is not worth putting any more energy into it and let it go?  Am I the only one with this odd, Puritanical "you should do it BECAUSE it's difficult" mentality?

Learning to Work in a Series

 Note: This turned into a long post but I hope you will find time to read anyway!

Dear Diane,

How can it be that it was June last time we posted to this blog? Where did the time go?!

Well, actually some of mine went on doing two courses about Working in a Series, which I thought it was time to tell you all about. I really wanted to do the course run by Lisa Call on her own website but it was very expensive so when the opportunity to do a course run by Elizabeth Barton on Quilt University for around 1/10 of the price I thought maybe that was the way to go. So I signed up to that. The very act of doing that seemed to confirm to me how much I really also wanted to do the other one. So I signed up to Lisa Call’s class as well the same day.

For anyone on a budget, I would say that I had no complaints about the Quilt University course. It was a four week course and the method of teaching is that a lesson is made available for you to print off each class week and interaction with the students and teacher is by way of a sort of chat site. That means you can read all interactions with other students and learn from those too although a downside is that the list of messages can get long and clunky.

I decided for this course to make some quilts based on the Maasi tribe. I am not going to go into too much detail here about the exact contents of the course as I do not want tob reach anyone’s copyright, but I can safely tell you how it affected me I think. First, I tried out a new way of doing a ‘sketchbook’. I love notebooks to write in but drawing in them? Doesn’t do it for me. I can’t keep track of things, can’t move them around to collate ideas and one bad page ruins the book. So, I turned to ( you know what is coming!), yup, an A5 Filofax. I am still not a big user, tending to go straight from head to fabric but this is a great solution for me and I did take at least one sketch into fabric:

I now have two filofaxes ( both Cubans for readers who care) in use for this purpose with my subjects tabbed but its very flexible. I like that I can do something at lunch at work on a scrap and take it home to file later.
Secondly I began to work small, because of time constraints and to try out some new surface design techniques, making fabric with scraped screen inks and stamps. I was pleased with my fences made from stitch, paint and abaca tissue. The first quilt in this post is my SAQA Auction donation for this year. I do think it is a step forward for me. I am delighted to see it was chosen for the auction publicty material. These followed on and were submitted for a show in Australia but were rejected. which is frustrating as they are miles better in my view than the one that was accepted for the same exhibition the last time it ran! Ah well.

But, I soon started to experience the reality I had always feared with series work. How many times can you rearrange Maasai figures andstill see the point in doing so? Yes, if I was working only to sell, I would be creating recognisable works and that is a benefit for some people. But this subject soon became limited for me. I think there were two reasons for that:


Firstly the emphasis was on the visual not the story behind it and whilst there is nothing wrong with that it was not satisfying me deep down. Secondly, I was doing rather realistic pictures and I am now ( after some weeks for reflection) starting to realise that if I am not doing completely abstract work I at least prefer to have some symbolism in the work. Something that can be interpreted and worked out. Or at least something that holds attention and invited reading ( either literally of words, or figuratively interms of searching for meaning). Two spear toting men by a fence. Too easy!


So, that course was a good start but I was still rather restless being confined to a series. Of course, working in multiple series at a time is always a possibility but I could see that with limited time there was a real risk I would do twelve series of one quilt each per year! Not quite the point. So that Quilt University course was a good start but I was looking for more.


Then came the Lisa Call course. This was a much more detailed and professionally put together course and well worth the money. Lisa used her computer skills to set up a website for the course and the formatting (both of the site and the course) was really impressive. We studied with Lisa over eight weeks. On six there was a long ( at least 75 mins) live lecture withher during which you could phone in to listen and interact with her. Or, it was recorded and, as I was in an inconvenient time zone, I downloaded and listened like a podcast in my own time, taking notes as I went. Court users in Blackburn may have wondered why I was spending some time alone in my car at lunch time but it was a perfect time to get some concentrated listening time! In addition there were several substantial emails eachweek.

There was interaction with Lisa via the comments on the siteblog but also we got two half hour individual mentoring phone calls each. It was typical of Lisa’s organisation that these were not just nice chit chats. We got a call preparation sheet with some set questions on to prepare and this meant Lisa was able to use every minute (well after a few pleasantries!) to answer our questions and to offer focused advice and mentoring. Apparently some people used those calls to ask technical questions about the course material. I found all that was so clear I really didn’t want clarification and instead I opted to use it as a mentoring call. Lisa appears to be someone I have much in common with but who is further down the path than me and it was most useful to be able to pry into her experiences and have full and open answers.

In fact one thing we talked about was the possibility of using a professional creativity coach and about her experience of that being useful for a while and then going wrong and how important it was to get a coach that had the right skills and practice ethos. I had briefly flirted with that idea for a while having been in touch with Eric Maisel who is maybe better known as a coach for writers although he is certainly not limited to that. I came to the conclusion that there were better places I could put my money particularly as I don’t feel stuck or blocked. Besides Eric Maisel seems to have put all he knows into his many books so there is plenty for me to read there if I need to.

That said, if Lisa ever went into professional mentoring services I’d jump at the chance to work with her. One way in which she structured the course was to take a topic – say ‘balance’ and talk about how wec ould apply that to our art, to working in a series in particular, but also to the life of being an artist and our studio practice. So it was part practical, part psychology really, which I loved. And it wasn’t waffly stuff. It was backed up with articles on psychological research and from her own experience, both successes and mistakes. Good stuff and something to go back to over and over. Each week she also featured an artist whose work illustrated the lecture points so there is plenty of material to explore further there too.


We had five exercises to do during the course ( catch up weeks were built in) and they involved both freewriting journal exercises (and you know how happy I am to curl up with a notebook and do that!) and then the making of a piece of art. The clever thing about this course is that the first task is for you to set the parameters of your own work so that you can decide what is feasible in the time you have. So you pick size, subject, media, how far down the production process you will go. Basically you set yourself up to succeed in completion. Or you do if you are not overambitious like I tend to be!


I decided to put the Maasi to one side and try somethingnew. Just before this course started I had been invited to submit a quilt for the Fibre Artists for Hope Group on the theme of Broad Changes, an exhibition about women who made a difference in the field of social justice. Immediately I wanted to do a quilt about Camila Batmangheldidge, which is ironic as I still cannot spell her name without a Google assist! She is a charity worker in the UK and whilst she is Iranian I can see that her dress makes her not a million miles away from the African Ladies I have made a few times. I do love fabric headwear of all kinds! So I decided myc lass exercises would be trial portraits of Camila. At the same time, as you know, the Twelve by Twelve group had embarked on the 20/12 project and I wanted my works for that to hang together as a series. This sort of multi-tasking or synchronising of effort pleases me!

The exercises were, just as a way to structure the course,based on various formal design principles, but we were given several choices of task, including setting ourselves a task, so it enabled everyone to adapt the course to their own interests and needs. There was no need to feel you were faffing about with pointless irrelevant games or working at a level below or above you. Lisa did ask if she could share some of our work on her blog. I did not consent to that, for reasons I am about to explain, but, after a few weeks more reflection and with the ability to place it in context I am ready to reveal all.

Or, actually not all because I did not do all the exercises. But that’s Ok with me, and I do not see it as a failure, because the course moved me from where I was, to where I wanted to be without me doing the last one. Plus, I had confirmed that I really work better independently where I can take what I need and apply it to my own work with thought and in my own way.That is not to say that the tasks are not useful but rather that I am finding it more beneficial to apply them in a normal studio practice and to my own goals rather than to produce something for the sake of a class deadline.

That said, I did do three portraits of Camila B. Now, I am only sharing on the basis that you are kind to me (and I think I require another pot of Rooibos tea and a slice of Millionaires Shortbread to fortify me before I do so). The basic idea ( again I do not want to give too much of the course away) was that you start with a reference work and set parameters for your work. So I started with this twelve inch test piece but I decided my class work would be 16 x 24 and would all involve a painted portrait. This was particularly stupid as I had never painted before and in fact always said I quilted because I couldn’t paint. But you know, you’ve got to challenge yourself…!

Now, no laughing…. For my first assignment I chose the task of working in a monochrome scheme.

The second assignment was to do with space and dimensionality and this did not work or come anywhere near it so I am not showing that

And the third was this half finished piece wth no background ever done.

The outcome of these assignments was that I grew immensely in confidence that I was getting better as I went along but still knew that I was nowhere near where I wanted to be. Two, almost throwaway comments, I pickedup on the course ( and which I wrote on my dry wipe board) were ‘Its OK to bewhere you are’ and ‘Its Ok to be a student’. They sound simple, and indeed they are, but to an over achieving perfectionist they were very comforting and important points. So, at that point I found an art teacher who is now coming to my house to teach me to draw and paint so I can do what I know I can do if I learn how to! I set Camila B. aside and decided to change horses and work with maps.


The maps thing came out of the 20/12 project to which I was applying the lesson from Lisa to define your parameters and change one thing at a time. So my 20/12 parameters were, obviously, the size, and then an African theme with a focus on wholecloth surface design, and a colour scheme that meant my pieces all hung well together. The first one on the metamorphosis theme was sort of part of the Maasi series. Or not, but vaguely linked to it.

The second was Vilakazi Street. In the making of this I stumbled on a great site about the Soweto Riots in 1976 which maps the various routes taken by student groups and the Police during the conflicts and tells the stories of the people involved.

That got me excited and I thought I had a series right there. Maps of the routes with the stories on the quilts. That met so many things I wanted in a series… something that could change endlessly without boring me, something that enabled me to tell a story and something which linked to my passions rather than being picked because I thought it would make a goods eries. So, I took another route, the Police route made some fabric by my current favoured method of scraping and stamping with screen inks, and…disaster. It did not work.

But, that was another thing I internalised from the course. Artists make bad work. Move on. And move on without beating yourself up. It’sthat last bit that was new to me! So, I shoved that in the cupboard and had a think. Camila had to be made. The deadline has now been extended but at the time I had a comfortable but not overly commodious time in which to do it. My art teacher is good but on one lesson a month I am not going to be painting faces on quilts well enough to want to submit them any time soon. Time for a rethink.

 So I reverted to fabric portraits. I followed Maria Elkins instructions on her Quilting Arts Download. Well, I followed them in so far as I am capable for following any instructions without deciding to go my own way!That is I to say I put a photo into photoshop. I then adapted the instructions and used the xxxxxxxxx filterprinted that out in colour in reverse and the right way around and then extended the print out to finish the parts of her missing in the photo. I outlined in black. I traced over each piece I needed to make on typing paper then reversed it to go on fusible by, um well, I don’t recommend this but by holding it up and sort of more or less putting some marks on the back of the paper as it flops about. It is not precise but it works for me and I then can trim the fabric and play about with it. I should use a lightbox or even work in day light at the window. But hey, it’s my work and slapdash corrected is more me than perfect from the start. It’s just more fun!

I  have fused the portrait to a scraped and stamped background and then I used the same method as on Vilakazi Street to do a map of the areas of London whereshe works and to write in her story and that of her charity. And this finally is where I wanted to be in terms of working in a series. Because the deadline on Camila B was extended I put the top unstitched to one side and for a while to work on another one for my colleagues wall at work. This was the result.

I think this is better than Camila B.  I let go of the central motif that carried over from Vilakazi street and learned that is is better to ensure the map chosen is featureful as it is withot a gimmick. And so this could go on. I can change the people and the place and the stories, even the colours I use and the methods to delineate the road and buildings and the method of getting writing onto the quilt so I don’t feel at all restrained but the work will be a cohesive collection whilst still being fresh. I hope! The last 20/12quilt on Mythology was a spin off from this maps idea also, with its city blocks background.

i am currenltly having a break from the studio for a couple of weeks but I know one of my first projects when I get back will be another map quily. There is no doubt in my mind that it took Lisa Call’s course to get me to this point and I will always be very grateful to her. There are other lessons I learned and indeed, at least one other series involving township shacks under way too.

So, that was a lot about me. But I am curious. Does working in a series appeal to you?

Helen.

Posted with Blogsy

My Fiber Art Filofax

Dear Helen,

I have been a very bad blogging partner, I'm afraid.  You know why -- family matters, a bit of personal upheaval, other matters to attend to, a strange stomach bug, and a good-sized dollop of procrastination.  I have a lot of comments on what you've posted so far (and I'll post here again soon) but first, given that I can't entice your forgiveness with cake (a lovely slice of Victoria Sponge would be nice, yes?) I will show you pictures of my Fiber Arts Filofax.

Like you, I originally used a Filofax in my law firm lawyering days.  I had a lovely blue one (it seems shockingly ignorant to me now, but I don't think I ever knew what model it was).  I loved using it for keeping appointments and to-do lists and addresses and all.  But once I retreated to the life of a stay-at-home mom (and part-time home-based lawyer) the filofax got relegated to the back of a drawer in favor of online calendars and lists.

And then you pointed me to Philofaxy.  Oh, how I love that blog!  Finding others who are smitten with paper and pens and leather books and all things stationery is as wonderful as finding quilty friends!   You reawakened my dormant Filofax love at the very time I was organizing a whole lot of things in my life, and next thing you know, I have several Filofaxes in which I am happily keeping track of things.  It makes me very happy. 

Let me show you my red A5 finchley.  I do love it, although I must say that when it arrived, I was a tad dismayed at how dark the red is.  I tend to like red to be a strong, bright, fire-engine red.  I would call this color "burgundy," or "maroon," but not red.  (This looks a bit lighter than it really is.) Still, it is wonderfully soft and beautiful and I have come to love it.  I love the feel of the Finchley leather, and yes, it lies perfectly flat on my desk.  I have dedicated it to Fiber Art matters only, although that may change eventually ... I am finding that the perfect organizer set-up is an evolving thing. 

As you know, the finchley has two pen holders.  I keep a pilot rolling ball pen on one side and a mechanical pencil on the other -- but what I use most for writing is a Lamy fountain pen (fine nib, since I know you're wondering) which either sits in the rings or I clip horizontally onto the zip pocket of the inner front cover because it's too fat for these pen-loops.  (By the way, Lamy calls THAT color "dark purple."  Hah.  It's maroon.  Or burgundy.  What is it with not calling a color what it IS???  But it matches the red finchley beautifully and it makes me happy to match.  Ridiculously happy.)  I mostly use the pencil for sketching and drawing doodly design ideas and write everything else with the pens.

I made my own dividers with personalized tabs, as you can see here, using heavy decorative paper from the scrapbooking section of a local craft store and bits of washi tape.  For this filofax, I used the same happy polka dot paper for all of the dividers -- the way the dark red (burgundy!) dots match the color of the FF is very pleasing, yes?  I had a good time decorating the dividers with quotes and images I had -- bits cut out from magazines or printed from the computer.  I have the following tabs:

Calendar -- holds a vertical year planner, which I use for noting show deadlines, fiber art related meetings or due dates, dates of retreats and workshops, etc.  Behind that is a month-on-two-pages calendar, where I make notes on my goal to do something creative every day.  By the way, I also decorate the back side of divider pages.  (The back side of the red dot paper is this acid green stripe, which I quite like.)  You can't read it well here, but this quote says "Creativity comes to those who seek it" and it's stuck on with pretty washi tape.

Goals - I started this section with a list of creativity goals for 2012, and I've found that I keep adding pages -- a page of accomplishments, another with thoughts about what I want to convey in the art quilts I make, etc.  I have to confess that this is the first year in which I've actually written goals down that have anything other to do with work-related objectives, and it's proving to be a very useful thing.  Here's my decoration on the Goals tab:

The quote says "The harder you work, the luckier you get."  Appropriate for goals, isn't it?


Projects -- This section is actually subdivided by top tabs, also hand-made, for various projects.  For example, the 12x12 project gets its own section, as does "Maps" as I have that series going and lots of notes on that topic.  (I had a brief moment of indecision, when "map" was chosen as our current 12x12 theme -- which section do I put THOSE notes in?  But I've got them in Maps because, well, it involves a Map.  I don't feel the need for cross-referencing.   Yet.  :-)   I put inspirational material into the subsection of the project to which it applies... at least so far.

I am not letting myself be bothered by the fact that this quote says "loose" rather than "lose."  Intentional?  Maybe, but it makes me smile when I see it, because if I can't lose that fear, at least I can loosen it.


Blog -- Here's where I make note of ideas to blog about, notes of blogs or websites I've read about and want to check out, etc.

Ideas -- This is turning out to be a bit of a catch-all section, at least as it comes to ideas that pop into my head when I'm working on something else.  For now, I figure that if I note them in here, I'll be able to find them later, or I can look here if I'm stuck and looking for some random trigger.  I love this image -- clipped from a magazine, I think.

Technique notes - this section, at present, contains notes on specific techniques or ideas about using them.  I started this section when I was making some notes about cutting and using stencils and it wasn't specific to any particular project.  If I'm reading a magazine that shows a technique I want to remember or think about using in the future, I'll make some notes here -- including a reference to the magazine and issue where I saw it so I can find it again.  Again, this section may change, but so far it's handy.

UFOs - I don't have so many unfinished items that they require a whole tab of their own, but I did decide that getting some finished this year is on my goal list and keeping track of what UFOs I actually have is critical to that.  And you know?  The list wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be when I sat down to make it.  The photo above shows the inside of that divider, which aptly says "It always seems impossible until it is Done."

I also have a blank tab which at this point holds plain paper, and so far I've been using this for random sketching when I'm out and about and don't have an actual sketchbook.  I keep thinking I should put some decent paper in this section, but right now it's just plain old copy paper, cut down to A5 size.  Good enough for on the spot sketching.

I considered adding a section for the  City & Guilds course I'm working on (or rather, I *should* be working on) but I mostly keep those notes and sketches in a specific C&G bound journal.  Maybe I'll change that when I get back to work on the C&G assignments.  That's the beauty of FF, isn't it?  I can just add another tab and keep going.

In case you're wondering, I DO use the pad that slides into the back cover of the Finchley. I love that pad, and find it's my main note-making place, and when I'm done I move the page into the proper section.

It's interesting to me that we've opted to keep track of different things in our studio FFs -- and I have to admit that reading about your organization made me look at mine to wonder if I needed to supplement.  So far, though, I don't feel the need to keep track of time spent on projects -- while it'd probably be interesting, it reminds me too vividly of all of those law firm years where I was required to write my lawyer time down in tenths-of-an-hour increments.  So now I don't count time unless I HAVE to!  Similarly, I don't keep detailed records of the financial side of my fiber art, although this also makes sense and probably is more necessary as one gets involved in selling artwork.  At this point I throw receipts into a manila folder in my file drawer and add them up come tax time!  Maybe some day I'll get more organized and by then you'll have perfected the system, developed the perfect page, and I can just follow your system.

I considered a "Call for Entries" tab when you mentioned it -- it sounds so Organized and Efficient and Forward Looking!  But at present, I've decided that when I see a call for entry, if I think I will pursue it, I create a Project subtab and put the relevant entry info, along with my notes and sketches for the piece I anticipate entering, in there.  So far I've not needed a section for miscellaneous entries, mainly because life has been too distracting lately and making things for shows is down on the priority list... way down.

There are so many things I like about this organization system -- before using this filofax, I had several different journals and notebooks and I'd tend to make sketches or notes in whichever was handy.  Mostly I used a moleskine sketchbook and was operating on a "just use the next blank page" system.  Some people use this sort of journalling beautifully and then tab the pages them in a way that allows them to link the related pages even when they're not next to each other in the book.  (Diana Trout comes to mind.)  But that was driving me crazy, and I always felt like I had the wrong notebook at the wrong time.  I love how I can move pages around in the FF.

The biggest pleasure, though, is that using this system has made me really THINK about what I'm doing, what I want to be doing, where I want to be going, and the like.  I feel much more intentional about what I am doing, and this helps me keep track even when I end up detouring to work on something new or unexpected.

One last picture for you.  You  know that I'm continuing in an online sketching and painting workshop taught by Jane LaFazio, called "Watercolor Sketchbook: Designs from Life."  This class was actually a spin-off from the mixed media one I took a few months ago.  One of the assignments involved sketching and painting something from nature and then abstracting some designs.  Everyone in the class got so into doing those pages (and produced all sorts of great pages) that Jane decided to plan a whole course around that.  So far, we did a week of flowers, and then vegetables, and this week is "from the factory" -- manmade objects with hardware as a focus.  Here's the page I did on Friday:

It is very fun to take something and then think about design elements from that.  I have a box of different picture-hanging gizmos sitting on my table, and I think those will be the subject of tomorrow's page!